how do you say...squalor?

so everyone is always all excited about aero beds. "they're so fantastic! it's just like a real bed! you'd never know it was an air mattress!"

unless, of course, it leaks.

and you can't do the usual submerge-and-detetect that one might do on a leaky pool float, etc. because, you see, this luxurious "bed" comes complete with a fuzzy coating. despite the fact you cover it with sheets. so this fuzz serves only to keep you from dunking it in the bath to find the goddamn leak. because the only thing worse than a leaky air mattress is sleeping on a layer of damp, stinky, sweaty, matted fuzz. or yoga mats. but I'll laura tell you about that.

so, what can you do but wake up each morning sweating and suffocating, ass on the floor, in a puddle of vinyl.

this is not a bed.