bs: so laura, did you have a date to the prom?
tb: in high school?
bs: is there any other prom?
tb: a real date to mine, nope. but I was lucky enough to go to a few.
bs: so you had dates.
tb: I guess you can call them that.
bs: what's that supposed to mean?
tb: to my prom I brought a friend, but to my brother's school's prom I was lucky enough to be asked by my crush.
bs: no fucking way. how have you never told me this story?
tb: it might be embarrassing to put this in print, though I think 7 years later it's clear I had a crush on him.
bs: sounds perfect for wtbp fodder. tell me more.
tb: it was set up by our mutual friend.
bs: boring
tb: aiming for that
bs: for what? boredom?
tb: I guess it's not so incognito. it was pretty apparent I was crushing on him.
bs: so...what happened?
tb: (laughs) I took some ecstacy.
bs: did he?
tb: can't remember--we did some pg13 making out.
bs: sounds like the best prom story I've heard in a long time. why do people get so hysterical about their proms, top banana? it was the only dance I ever went to with a date. including the time I was homecoming princess. and he went home with someone else and so did I and we hi-fived. because he was awesome. and shorter than me. but whatever.
tb: that sounds like a jam. at my prom I brought my best friend. we went out in the city to a normal club night that we went to every week. except we had a limo this time.
bs: did you guys get breathalyzed? we did.
tb: no. we just hung with out friends and met up with the rest of the limo crew on the way to the beach.
bs: did you even show up for the dance?
tb: yeah, we did the standard photo/dance/after party thing.
bs: was it a night to remember?
tb: I remember taking a photo with my english teacher. I liked her.
bs: two days after prom my english teacher kissed me and three boys in my class with tongue. he didn't show up for our graduation. was it that kind of like?
tb: no. she was just a sweetheart with extensive literary knowledge.
bs: I think we're boring people. what do you think jen did for her prom?
tb: does anyone read this?
bs: Probably not. I was just saying that I was boring myself.
tb: was she hitchhiking across america or what? I don't think she made it to prom.
bs: me neither, but you know what? due to the falk family game she for sure would have gotten some action if she had. blah, blah, blah. so, how 'bout them dresses?
tb: mine's super tight. I can't breathe that well, but I'm into the metallic reflection.
bs: it's totally awesome. sometimes you have to suffer for awesome. mine was bought for $13 when I was in 8th grade. and had even smaller tits than I do now. it didn't stay up on me until I was a sophmore in college. but it does now! I'm really a woman, aren't I?
tb: it's pretty sweet you can still fit in a dress from 8th grade.
bs: well, my mom had this theory, if she bought us really big clothes me and my sister would never feel fat. it was a nice idea, but does not make one feel better about fitting in a childhood dress.
tb: when I was in jr high the boys called me the wall cause I had no boobies. I also fit in a size 0, so you give and you take.
bs: they called me mosquito bites. one day they tried to snap my bra, but I didn't have one. at the dance that friday I wore my first training bra. there were blacklights. they noticed.
tb: I can probably still fit in my training bra. I'm cool with it.
bs: yeah, me too. boo boobies.
tb: boo boobies. i wish you were my date.
bs. me too, tenderly.
THE END
Saturday, March 25, 2006
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