pride and prejudice

Oooh. My. God. It was a really long night. I don't even know where to start. Wait, I do know! How about the part where I didn't get chopped into bits but very well might have?

You see, I was walking home. Alone. Barefoot. At 5 am. In the rain.

How did I get into such a stupid fucking predicament in the first place? Oh, you know...a little pride. You see, I didn't have any money. I'd lost my wallet a few hours earlier and my car broke down yesterday (hence the walking home part). I was at a party. I didn't want to sleep with any of the guys who would have given me a ride, so I didn't ask them to take me home. And (pridefully) I didn't want any of my friends to know how low things really are with me these days so I didn't ask them either. What other choice did I have but to start walking?

Well, obviously, to other choice would be to suck it up. And about 10 blocks into what would have been a 4 mile walk, I realized that was what I was going to have to do, so I called AP and asked if I could borrow $20 for a cab. He, of course, said "of course" and that he'd call one so it would be there when I arrived.

Now just to be clear, cabs don't just drive around in LA like they do in NY. And I was in a pretty quiet suburban tucked-away neighborhood. And it was 5 am. So when I saw a cab 2 blocks from AP's, what was I to think but it was the car he'd called? The driver saw me and stopped and I asked, "Oh, are you here for me? I just need to go back to my friend's. He's going to loan me money b/c I don't have any." And the cabbie said, "I just saw your friend, he paid me and sent me to look for you." It seemed totally plausible. Why else would there be a cab on this desolate suburban side street? So I got in.

And as we drove off I called to thank AP. And he had no idea what I was talking about.

I almost threw up. How did I do this to myself? But it was a taxi! I mean I wouldn't just jump in some molester van. What would you do? Wait--I don't want to know. It will only make me feel bad. But I was terrified. But, really, what is the difference between this guy and the cabbie who responded to AP's call? They're equally likely to be psychos. Letting some man drive you away is always a leap of faith. I learned that a long time ago.

Anyway, this guy asks me if I'll sit up front. I say I'm not feeling well and he doesn't press it. When he stops at a drive thru I think about running away. He has a car; where would I go that he couldn't follow? We were in the middle of nowhere. At 5 am. And when he found me he'd be angry. I don't know. I stayed. He bought me coffee even though I said I didn't need any.

I asked him questions about Armenia, where he was from. He took me to the corner where I'd lost my wallet. It was still there. Should I have run then? When I got out to get it? I didn't. Where would I have gone? I still didn't have any money--someone had taken it all--but my driver's license was there (which is a good thing b/c it's suspended and it'd be a big fucking problem to get a new one). I was miles from home. I got back in. It's the worst thing you can do. It's exactly what you're not supposed to do.

He took me home. I had him drop me off at a busy corner a few blocks away so he wouldn't know where I lived. I tried to give him the couple bucks I had (at this point he'd admitted that no one had paid him to look for me). He refused and gave me his card and started crying and said I was beautiful and he wanted to see me again and if I wanted to see him I should call. Did he know that I'll never call? Did it have to be so terrible?

Oh. My. God. Why do I always get myself into these situations? Can't a banana take a taxi in this city without worrying she's going to be split. Or worse? I was so lucky. I was so stupid and lucky.

Anyway, the moral of this story is I can't afford my pride these days. It hurts my heart, though. You know?

prom night not ameteur night

bs: so laura, did you have a date to the prom?

tb: in high school?

bs: is there any other prom?

tb: a real date to mine, nope. but I was lucky enough to go to a few.

bs: so you had dates.

tb: I guess you can call them that.

bs: what's that supposed to mean?

tb: to my prom I brought a friend, but to my brother's school's prom I was lucky enough to be asked by my crush.

bs: no fucking way. how have you never told me this story?

tb: it might be embarrassing to put this in print, though I think 7 years later it's clear I had a crush on him.

bs: sounds perfect for wtbp fodder. tell me more.

tb: it was set up by our mutual friend.

bs: boring

tb: aiming for that

bs: for what? boredom?

tb: I guess it's not so incognito. it was pretty apparent I was crushing on him.

bs: so...what happened?

tb: (laughs) I took some ecstacy.

bs: did he?

tb: can't remember--we did some pg13 making out.

bs: sounds like the best prom story I've heard in a long time. why do people get so hysterical about their proms, top banana? it was the only dance I ever went to with a date. including the time I was homecoming princess. and he went home with someone else and so did I and we hi-fived. because he was awesome. and shorter than me. but whatever.

tb: that sounds like a jam. at my prom I brought my best friend. we went out in the city to a normal club night that we went to every week. except we had a limo this time.

bs: did you guys get breathalyzed? we did.

tb: no. we just hung with out friends and met up with the rest of the limo crew on the way to the beach.

bs: did you even show up for the dance?

tb: yeah, we did the standard photo/dance/after party thing.

bs: was it a night to remember?

tb: I remember taking a photo with my english teacher. I liked her.

bs: two days after prom my english teacher kissed me and three boys in my class with tongue. he didn't show up for our graduation. was it that kind of like?

tb: no. she was just a sweetheart with extensive literary knowledge.

bs: I think we're boring people. what do you think jen did for her prom?

tb: does anyone read this?

bs: Probably not. I was just saying that I was boring myself.

tb: was she hitchhiking across america or what? I don't think she made it to prom.

bs: me neither, but you know what? due to the falk family game she for sure would have gotten some action if she had. blah, blah, blah. so, how 'bout them dresses?

tb: mine's super tight. I can't breathe that well, but I'm into the metallic reflection.

bs: it's totally awesome. sometimes you have to suffer for awesome. mine was bought for $13 when I was in 8th grade. and had even smaller tits than I do now. it didn't stay up on me until I was a sophmore in college. but it does now! I'm really a woman, aren't I?

tb: it's pretty sweet you can still fit in a dress from 8th grade.

bs: well, my mom had this theory, if she bought us really big clothes me and my sister would never feel fat. it was a nice idea, but does not make one feel better about fitting in a childhood dress.

tb: when I was in jr high the boys called me the wall cause I had no boobies. I also fit in a size 0, so you give and you take.

bs: they called me mosquito bites. one day they tried to snap my bra, but I didn't have one. at the dance that friday I wore my first training bra. there were blacklights. they noticed.

tb: I can probably still fit in my training bra. I'm cool with it.

bs: yeah, me too. boo boobies.

tb: boo boobies. i wish you were my date.

bs. me too, tenderly.

THE END

prom night

just three girls having a good time.

get into it

we're into it. more than ever. deflated air mattress yoga mat sleeping bag beds. done. i don't have any money. done. i'll be back in 5 days. 3 months later done (thanks pais, you're the best). grey walls. done. three spoons. done. drunken emails. done (well, mostly - sorry laura). that shit was so 2005.

so what now? haircuts. road trips. ruling shit. entitlement. social calendar. booked. skipping the line. what line? so and so. oh yeah, she knows him. and that guy. yeah, him too.

so has txg become j3g? it's a new chapter. no jerks no tears. just fun with fun. having fun, girl 1?
the most fun in the world.

fuck yeah.

happy new year. shit's going off. get into it.

i'm gonna cross that river to the jersey side...

kara and i met in a hot tub. then she said coffee. i knew she was from jersey. i liked how she said coffee. i told her she reminded me of home. it was refreshing. there was no drawn out 'liiiiiike' in her speech. her quick wit and humor brought me to laughter. and i missed home for a second. then i wondered why it is we get such a bad rap? jersey girls and all. mallrats and suburban culture -- we get it. seems a lot like la. i'll give la having cooler stuff but same vibe with better weather and high pitch voices. paisley says jersey girls' anti-high voices make us talk with authority. i'm comfortable with that. she says of course i am. and that's why she likes me and kara so much.

surprise, surprise

nice...
Originally uploaded by paisley s.

so the first time I met jen I thought that she was soooo too cool for school. or too cool for me. there wasn't much of a difference at the time. she worked at read cafe. she had wide gauage hoops in her ears and a checkered past I'd heard about third hand at least 30 times. and--little did I know at the time--we had all the same friends. had I known, maybe I wouldn't have been so shy.

but then a second chance in LA! I think it was the night before the bbq at andy's that I realized she was the light of my life. she rocked up at 2:30 with a security t-shirt saying she was all sweaty and needed to change. and have a shot of jameson.

suddenly something clicked. I realized that any girl who could wear a t-shirt securing her hot breasteses, sweaty from keeping over-enthusiastic hipsters in line, with such ease was obviously a kindred spirit.

and I was right! there's no one I'd rather spend an evening (or $50) with. I'm obsessed with her intellect, but I can't stop staring at her boobs. and, though we fought once, we'll never do it again.

who would have thunk that in LA, the most vapid of cities, I would find girls who'd become the most loyal, trustworthy, happiness imparting people ever to be in my life? not me. so laura, jen, jesse, and christen--I curtsey to you.

xo,
wylab