exclusive k-town bar tour (limo and all...)

i think paisley's perfectly manicured eyebrows...

they're a disaster. why do you have to draw attention to them?

ugh... enough, pais. anyway, her eyebrows...

you started it!

i know, because it was supposed to be a compliment ten years ago, god! i just wanted to say they looked fantastic and i was jealous.

shut up! i was jealous of how you looked in the pool and you didn't let me post that one.

for obvious reasons, darlin'.

laura, am i your favorite roommate ever (internal argument redacted)?

you know you are in some ways, pais. i've never had stories like i have now.
after contemplation, yes, you are. for sure.

EVEN WITH THE MESS (AND THE BOSSY BOOTS)?

well, the mess could subside a bit and i wouldn't be THE CLEAN ONE. and the bossy boots may need a donation to saint vincent's but my interior snobbery may be met with the same disdain.

ohmigod the messiness has subsided. can i get a witness?

we'll see.

and you may have your own pair of bossy boots. in fact, i think i saw you getting them shined for a dollar yesterday.

they're a perfect size 8. how could i turn them down? a dollar? i talked him down to 50 cents and a smile.

"smile"? is that what we're calling it these days?

he asked me for my phone number. i gave him yours. you need to get out more.

you filthy slut, you are my favorite roommate.

likewise, bitch.

cartoon laura

cartoon laura
Originally uploaded by ihatepaisley.

sometimes after the geffen you hit an altered state. if you're laura you're thinking, "I think I learned something. maybe taking the subway was more informative. but this is the peanut butter my mom bought when I was a kid. and I'm drawn to it, though I know it's loaded with sugar and as an informed adult I scorn such additives."

But it is shockingly pleasurable, isn't it?